Ramblings of a heartsick someone

Ramblings of a heartsick someone

Soms lig je naar het plafond te staren. Je probeert de pijn in je borst om te zetten in woorden. Overdenkingen van een persoon met liefdesverdriet.

"One day I will look back and be so glad to not give up on love. I will look back and see that even admidst the brokenness, the openness led to healing and hope that even though love looks different than what I expected, I was still being directed and love was still abundant.
Trusting that no matter what was missing, there was still room in this world for me to see that I have not seen everything yet that I need to see. I have not met everyone I needed to meet. This.. including my future self. I'll try to say to myself that I'm worthy of love, belonging and joy just as much as anyone else. But at this moment.. it is difficult to see, feel and believe that, because I was the one who left and who fucked it up, big time.

I will try to have hope for the future and that doesn't mean I think everything will go perfectly and according to plan. And this year is already shaping up to a little different than what I expected to be, but I am not worth any less because of changing plans.

So, I'll try to hold on to love (in other forms) and keep trusting, like you held me and let me trust you. You can be strong after you seemed invincible.

And I.. (..I will always love you-houuuu :)) need to carry on, without the one I thought was going to be there. And I get it, I get you.. even when I don't have you anymore. And know that you are still very dear to me, with or without my hands in yours. And it is okay if you're not feeling this today or tomorrow. But when that feeling grows.. know that it is true. "

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